it's almost unconscionable to me that someone could be engaged to someone they've never even kissed.
I saw some old friends of mine today - I hadn't seen them in an entire year. one friend of mine and I caught up a bit, and she told me she was engaged and that they'd never kissed, they'd never even HELD HANDS until they got engaged . . . um. How? How does that work? Why? She talked about it like it was a point of pride, like I'd approve of her marrying someone she's barely touched. But she seems happy. And at least she's not 18 like everyone else I know (she's what, 25? On the other hand, she should, um, you know, know better).
That said, I loved seeing them all. It blows my mind that I haven't seen these people in a whole year. And most likely won't for a while. I had no idea how much I missed them. It made me a little sad.
I miss the way my life was two years ago. I didn't know it at the time, but I was so optimistic and so hopeful about my future. Now I'm in that 20-something ennui (I'm saying that a lot, I know) where you see your future racing towards you and yet you're completely stuck. How can everything change and yet stay the same all at once?
One friend of mine gave me his new number and told me to call him if I ever needed anything, any time. I hate it when people do that. When do I call them? What do I need? What can they fix? I never want to inconvenience anybody. He travels all the time. Like I said, when is a good time to call, what can you fix for me. Why do you even care?
And so I never call.
Last year, before I was truly friends with one of my good friends now, I was having a hard time and it showed (but then, when am I ever not?) and he gave me his number and told me to call him if I wanted to talk. He's a good listener, he said. I never called him. I was suspicious of him. I didn't know him very well, why did he care about my personal problems, what could he possibly do, and again, I barely knew him.
He probably doesn't even remember that. The only reason we're friends today is because I once had to take care of him after he got too drunk to drive one night last year.
we both go together if one falls down
