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6.01.2011
I broke up with Winter because she had a boyfriend on the side that she's getting pretty serious about. We weren't serious anyway, but it was still an awkward situation. Last week, she paid me to help her clean her room. Of course, I did -- I'm in no position to turn down money. But her room is (well, was), the very picture of squalor. I considered it only about half-finished. She declared it spotless. I went home and sat on my bed, reveling in the cleanliness of my room. I've never been one for a disorderly room. The worst it gets is when my desk gets covered in books and papers, and I have a pile of dirty clothes on the floor that I've been too lazy to take downstairs. Today, I bought Camel Menthols even though I don't like them. I'm not really sure why. I smoked some on the way home and they made me miss Nathan. I saw him a few days ago and we went behind Barnes & Noble and, between us, smoked a whole pack. He's leaving for college in the fall, a college very, very far away. It saddens me . . . saddens me in a way that some of my other friends leaving for college haven't. I don't get to see him very often, but he's literally one of my favorite people. I don't think I've ever said this about anyone before, but he's got a beautiful soul. Nathan came to see me when I was doing Hamlet and we sat out together and smoked (a pack, divided before, during (intermission), and after the show) and Evan joined us and they hit it off. Like, REALLY. It was surprising. And it was so obvious that even I picked up on it. I mean, they individually came to me and asked for the other's number. Not going to lie, they'd make an adorable couple. But nothing came of it, and today I learn that Evan is dating a GIRL now. A GIRL. He said he was GAY. I feel kind of betrayed, even though it's really none of my business. I just, ah, I'm not exactly sure how to react or what to say. As for me, I think I need to stop dating my friends. But then, I'm not sure how other people date strangers. I can't trust strangers; I don't know them. But friendships suck, because they're so easily spoiled. Celia and I are better friends now. And Winter is too absorbed in her boyfriend and has been for some time. I'm actually kind of mad at her, but she doesn't even realize it. The problem is that people don't take me seriously in real life. I'm only taken seriously when I'm working. 6 Comments:
Wow, so many things are changing for you too. Hope you get to hang out with Nathan more this summer.
By My room isn't clean; but it's not messy either. The bed is almost always unmade, my desk is cluttered, and there's a few things on the floor. Every few months I go nuts and organize EVERYTHING. It takes two to three days. o.e Anyways, maybe the girl wasn't always a girl? I dunno. Weird.
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Oh..I'm hoping the best is yet to come..in meeting someone out there. Sometimes, I wonder why..why do I seem to meet the same people. Is it me..or is it them.
By Hey, better have as many good smokes as you can with your friend before he leaves. I liked how you evaluated things with your room and Winter's room. Cool way of putting it in perspective.
By Friends like to change their minds a lot.
By I miss your update. Hope you have a fine 4th and have some fun with friends.
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