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1.16.2011
Well, that was a lie. Actually, I lie a lot. But only for my own amusement. I don't just run around lying about important things. Like, if I say I was at the mall, I was at the mall. But, perhaps, while there at the mall, I struck up a conversation with a stranger and lied to them. I do this sometimes. Like, the other day I wandered into GameStop because I was bored and needed to kill some time, and this clerk walked up and asked if he could help me, and I lied and said I was looking for a present for my brother. The clerk asked me what kinds of games my brother liked and I just read off a few random titles that caught my eye. The clerk chatted with me a little bit, gave me some suggestions and I thanked him and left without purchasing anything. See? Perfectly harmless. I mean, I do have a brother, but I don't give him video games for his birthday, which is actually months away, and not in a few weeks like I told the clerk.Today I lied to Winter and told her that I lost my phone and that my internet is out (my phone is dead, but my internet, as you can see, is working just fine), because I didn't want to tell her that I've been avoiding everybody. People want to know why other people do things like that. "Where have you been?" "Around." I always say this when I'm asked that. "Why haven't you returned any of my calls? Don't you like me anymore?" "No. I obviously totally hate you. Go away. I don't even want to look at you." This is sarcasm. And then they laugh. And I laugh, because I don't mean it. But I still feel like a terrible person. I don't know. Sometimes I just want to go spend a month on a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific, but since I can't do that, cutting off communication with the rest of the world is the next best thing. Lucas told me he did the same thing once. But only once. That was why I hadn't seen him around, if I was wondering. I hadn't been wondering. "Okay," I said. He was clearly waiting for me to say more. "I just needed some downtime, man," he said. "Alone, you know what I'm saying? I needed to clear my head." "I know," I said. And I do know. I hope he did clear his head. I can never seem to manage to clear mine. And I don't know why I lie to people like that. 2 Comments:
We have to be clever like that some of time. Its good to enjoy your own company or we might drive people crazy.
By I lie to people because I just don't want to deal with them. Normally I try to get them to stop talking by giving them one word replies, or by not say anything. I guess I like being by myself. I still like the people. I just, I don't know.
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